A Spiritual Journey

2009-10-06T22:10:00.000+10:30

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Hobbit template

2009-07-20T21:02:00.003+09:30

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Creating new thoughts

2009-05-06T15:57:00.006+09:30

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We are how we think. I'm ready to change how I think.

When I don't feel like going for a walk, it's time to change that thinking to being excited about going for a walk.

When I want to overeat, it's time to change my thinking to other positive things that I want.

When I'm feeling sad, it's time to change my emotions to gratitude for all the wonderful things I have in my life.

The Indivudal Me

2009-02-06T16:18:00.007+10:30

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Hello to anyone still out there!

As a result of taking on a new responsibility in my life, I am now hosting my blog through Word Press.

I would love you to come over and continue to share in my Journey Through Life!

My blog is now at http://journeythroughlife.wordpress.com/

And the reason for the change is at this post http://journeythroughlife.wordpress.com/2009/02/06/the-individual-me/

Looking forward to seeing you all again!

Love and Light,
Annie

Seeing the Immediate Future

2008-11-30T14:32:00.004+10:30

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The last couple of days, I have been enjoying...

rice crackers with salsa dip and...

...yogurt with strawberries

Mmmmm....

Once again today, images of how I will be in the immediate future have helped nourish my spirit. Picturing myself contented and happy at the end of a successful eating day have been fantastic.

In the past, trying to do this has never worked for me. But for some reason, it's different now.

Who knows what has changed, why this is now coming naturally to me, but I love it!!

Maybe it is because it is an immediate future that is very foreseeable. Unlike trying to see a completely radical change in my body. And maybe it is because it is about my happiness, not about how I look. That could be a big factor!

My need to look different is disappearing. Now, it is all about feeling happy and peaceful within myself. And that I can imagine very well! And I can clearly see what I need to do to achieve that in the immediate future - not the distant future - but just a few short hours away.

I think this is the key!

Working through

2008-11-29T08:46:00.006+10:30

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Today's healthy foods are...

Yummy grapes!

Juicy cherries!

I just LOVE these fruits. I love how they are little hand to mouth foods. They really satisfy the munchies. And they are so juicy, they leave you feeling quenched.

It put a smile on my face, posting these pictures. I was feeling really down this morning. I've hit a crisis point in my eating journey. I'm miserable not eating junk, but it's the unhealthy eating that is making me miserable in the first place. Catch 22 crisis.

So this morning, I accepted the fact of how I was feeling and mentally began to work through it. Arguing with myself, counterarguing and eventually seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

I imagined myself at the wedding reception this evening feeling infinitely happy because I had my first good eating day! All of a sudden, I was lifted - just a little bit - oo, now a little bit more - :):) - out of the deep sadness I was in. Aahh, a smile is blessing my face right now! I'm feeling better.

Half a glass of juice and a handful of grapes later, I am sitting at my desk uploading these wonderful pictures. Aahh, summer season of fruit! Ya gotta LOVE it!!!

Obviously the pictures I have posted so far, I have sourced from the internet. But, I am really looking forward to getting creative myself on photographing healthy foods.
Dave and I planted a vegie patch a couple of weeks, so I am going to take progressive photos of all our vegies growing and then of course the fruits of our efforts.
In the meantime, photos of the things we purchase and cook will soon be gracing my page!

What a wonderful way of celebrating healthy eating. Combining it with my passion for photography and creativity!

It's gonna be fun!!!

Creating Change

2008-11-27T15:28:00.006+10:30

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Obsessive thoughts.

We all have them.

Sometimes they take us in directions we don’t want to go.

How do we stop them?

When I first starting blogging a few years ago, my blog at the time was all about changing my thoughts from the negative to the positive. It took me a year, and it worked. I continue to always find the positive in everything and, for the most part, my inner thoughts remain positive and hopeful.

I find that I’m not at all interested in retaining negative thoughts that occur throughout the day. For instance, when someone does something really stupid on the road, I don’t hang on to that thought for the rest of the day, in order to discuss it with Dave in the evening. It doesn’t interest me. If he was there right at the time, then I would discuss it. Either way, it is over and done with in that moment – discussed or not, it is dismissed.

So, why do I find it so hard to get rid of obsessive thoughts of eating unhealthy food?

I don’t know.

But I remember my first blog and how successful that was and I am determined to do it once again.

I have been reading about how the new lunar cycle is a big one for cleansing and that it starts today. I find it fascinating that it is TODAY that I decided to begin this new phase in my life. I have been trying for the last week with no success. But today brings the change and the determination to begin.

The significance of that change coming into Sagittarius is also significant for me – a proud Sagittarian! In just under two weeks, I turn 40. Also a big change.

The first part of my plan is to begin to consciously picture healthy foods. Big red apples, juicy oranges, sparkling clean water, salads, yogurt, almonds, yummy pineapples, watermelons and grapes, tomatos, cucumbers, ooo smoothies too!!

I don’t want to just be replacing the unhealthy food thoughts with these. I want to create these first! I want to dream healthy foods!!

And soon the obsessive, compulsive thinking will end, just like the negative thinking did. Success!!!

My summer holidays begin soon. I look forward to having time to absorb myself in all of this.
For tonight, now that the house is nice and clean, I am going to cleanse. It’s time to get rid of the negative energies and fill my house with vibrant, clean, healthy, nourishing, light filled energies! I can’t wait to get home and begin!!

A post at last!

2008-11-24T09:57:00.006+10:30

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I can't believe how long it has been. Time is just running away from me. I don't seem to have time to breath.

The school year is nearly finished. In two weeks. Will I have time to breath then? I hope so. Yet, already the list of all the things to do is filling up quick.

This year, Dave and I are going on holidays to be with his family and friends. I am looking forward to it very much. In terms of time though, it means I have to get all the Christmas things for my family done before we leave. Thank goodness for the summer break so I don't have to squeeze it in around work as well!

How is everyone else feeling as the Christmas season approaches?
Are you taking time to breath?
Are you taking time for yourself?
Are you a superorganised get everything done early person, or more like me, do it all at the last minute kind of person!?

I really hope that as I settle into my new life, that time for blogging - time for me and time to be with you - will once again become a part of my routine.

Today I am able to blog because I am home sick. Which means, of course, catching up on the washing and watering the garden! But I will take time to relax as well. I must. Because I have to catch up this day on Wednesday. I must I must I must. The sooner I teach my lessons, the sooner I can start my holidays! But today, was just a wipeout. Today is utter exhaustion. Today is a me day.

I thought this sun was a really good represenation of me today. Bleary eyed, a bit darker around the outside without my rays shining out fully, but still smiling with roses in my cheeks!

Rejuvenating

2008-11-04T10:04:00.003+10:30

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I did a big post a couple of nights and then completely lost the whole thing. Silly internet connection. Must get my wireless fixed soon!

Anyway, the jist of it was that we are settling in, there are still so many more things to do, more boxes to unpack and things to sort, and that I am completely and utterly exhausted.

So exhausted that today I am home from work. I hate taking the day off work. I don't get sick days so I will have to catch up todays lessons later in the term. And I always feel so incredibly guilty.

But my body just wouldn't function. It managed to get into the shower, but I couldn't get going after that. It simply refused to work. I can't even manage to get to the shops and grab a new release DVD, which is what I really want to do to chill out and try to rejuvenate. Typing right now is even a struggle. No way I could play the flute today!!

And when I look ahead to the rest of the week, I know that I need a day today. Thursday and Friday I have to start writing reports as well as teaching. I have extra lessons in the evenings with my exam students as well as Saturday morning. And I have a flute concert Sunday afternoon. Aaahhhhhh... It is beginning. The term four, end of school year craziness!

I have started getting used to sleeping next to someone every night and the last couple of nights have been better. So, fingers crossed that I will start catching up and will adjust to my new life routines with gusto! Because I am so very very grateful and happy with the changes in my life. I just gotta get my body used to them!

Looking forward to catching up with you all again very soon!

A quiet moment.

2008-10-27T20:12:00.002+10:30

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It still all feels like a bit of dream. I'm actually living with him! The reality of it hasn't really sunk in yet. I am so happy and enjoying this new and fun phase of settling in that we are in. (which is also completely busy and exhausting with the unpacking and organising of two households into one, plus still going to work!) I am also excited about the feelings that time will bring as we settle into our daily lives together.

I was laying in bed last night, my leg touching his, and thought "5 nights in a row. It's been 5 nights in a row sleeping next to this man!" And there I realised how much it really hasn't sunk in yet! I might not be sleeping as well as I usually would on my own, but I will get used to that. The fact is, I am much happier getting less sleep next to him, than I was sleeping the night through on my own!

Yesterday we went shopping for things for the house to help us get more organised and make the place work a bit better for us. I so enjoyed it. Building a home together. I have never done that with anyone before. I love it!!

There are still so many things to do but tonight I am resting. My internet is not working properly, so I am writing this off-line and will briefly get on-line to post it! Dave is at racquetball and I am allowing myself to center and reflect and breath in my new life.

The dream becomes a reality!

2008-10-23T04:12:00.003+10:30

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The time has finally come. Dave has moved in!

The last week has consisted of us packing our cars with boxes everytime we went back and forth to each others homes. And last weekend we did a trailer load of furniture and was able to organise a lot in the lounge room.

Yesterday was the big day! We hired a truck and, after two loads, he's here!

It was a huge day and of course, now we are surrounded with a combination of things beautifully organised and boxes and stuff everywhere. We both have to work the next couple of days, so I guess it won't be till the weekend that things start to settle down.

Now, its 4.30 am. I've had a few hours sleep but just couldn't get back there again.
Partly it's because my body is yelling at me as though I have done a huge big workout at the gym after not doing one for a while!
Partly it's because my mind started ticking over with all the things that I want to do.

I think though, that part of it is, I can't stop smiling to myself!

Rather than feeling any of the occasional fear I have felt at Dave moving in, I feel so HAPPY. There was not the slightest bit of fear or anything.
He is here.
And I feel a sense of peace and contentment. I feel like I can finally breath and take a big sigh of relief.

I can't believe that after all these years of wanting this in my life, it has actually happened. I have met a wonderful man and we have started our lives together. It is really true!

Mum used to always tell me stories about other woman she had heard about who, in their late 30's / early 40's, finally met the right person. It was designed to make me feel better! And while I always had hope, and always had the dream, and was always grateful for the life I did have, I guess it seemed like a pipe dream, something that happened to other people!

Now, I find myself sleepless. The dream is a reality. I am smiling, I am happy. Am I still dreaming?!! Maybe I will just wander my home, look around at all his stuff and kick myself!! :):) Maybe then I might get some sleep!

Meeting Heather

2008-10-18T13:27:00.003+10:30

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A few weeks ago, I had the wonderful pleasure of meeting in person a fellow blogger, Heather from Bending Peak. Heather and I have been blogger friends since my very early days blogging, which I guess was about three years ago now!

Heather was visiting Australia for a few weeks and has family near me, so it was with great excitement that we met up one afternoon for drinks and great conversation! We had so much fun! It was so great to meet you, Heather!!!!

One day I would just love to do a blogger holiday. Fly over to the States / Canada and map out a journey that took me to meet all you wonderful blogger friends. It would be so cool!

Jane, I didn't realise it until we were taking photos because I wear it all the time, but look what necklace I am wearing!!

Jane made and sent me my beautiful heart necklace last year. It is a joy to think of her every time I wear it.

Back at school. One moment, then the next...

2008-10-14T16:08:00.009+10:30

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First day back at school today and it was a VERY interesting day in regards to doing one thing at a time. The old routines and attitudes had a bit of a shaking up!

As I was working, it was fantastic. It felt so much better to simply stay in the moment, rather than wishing the day would pass more quickly! I tend to multi-task a lot at work and, most of the time, it is to be distracted from something else I need to be doing. Doing one thing at a time not only kept me focused on the task at hand, it made for a more enjoyable day!

Lunchtime was a toughie. I get 30 minutes for lunch and there is nothing I love to do more than absorb myself in a good book while eating. It was hard going to sit there and simply eat - at least at first. After a while, I really appreciated it. And I still had time to read some of my book! I appreciated both activities more on their own than combined together.

The same applied for driving home. Just be in the car, not race to get home. Right now is driving time. Later I will be home. A peaceful drive ensued.

On a day like today what I would have normally done upon arriving home, would be to grab a snack and throw on the TV for a while to wind down. Instead I enjoyed my snack and soon realised I didn't actually want to watch TV just then. I read for a while and now here I am, happily blogging my day. I feel better for not having submerged to being a couch potato so quickly!

Life is good.

Today I Am / A cleaner!

2008-10-13T13:37:00.003+10:30

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Today I Am:

Positive that I get well VERY soon.
Grateful to have acquired a good cleaner. I've never had a cleaner before! Woohoo!
Being positive that I will get through this first week back at school with ease.
Grateful to have done the invoices for this term.
Happy for such a lovely day.
Happy for such lovely cats!
Grateful for the new addition of having a stomach bug, because it has re-established my good eating pattern. Always gotta see the positive!

As a bachelor living on his own, Dave has always had a cleaner come in once a fortnight. Now that he is moving in here, he still wants to maintain having a cleaner. Who am I to complain!!!!!! She came for the first time today. Joy, bliss, yea!!! Gotta love it!

It feels like such a luxury. Yet, I am amazed to find out how many people also have cleaners come in once a fortnight to help them keep on top of things. And now with this household about to grow to 6 animals and 4 adults, I am very grateful for it.

Who else out there in the blogging world has a cleaner?

One thing at a time.

2008-10-10T09:11:00.004+10:30

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I was mostly successful yesterday with continuing to do just one thing at a time. It is a hard thing to do when we are programmed to be multi-taskers! But I see the beauty and simplicity in it. The awareness that comes with it. And I like it.

It's funny how this approach, from a spiritual angle, creates so much more willingness in me to seperate TV from eating. In comparison to the all the "losing weight" books telling us to eat at the table without books or TV and to make every meal special and conscious.

Because it's not about eating, it's not about losing weight. I don't want those focuses in my life anymore.

Doing one thing at a time, is being aware of everything in your life, enjoying every moment and every activity to its fullest.

Eating just happens to be, of course, the first major thing it touches for me.

The only time I forgot about it yesterday was when Dave came over for dinner. We enjoyed sitting down together with take out Chinese and watched TV. It didn't even occur to me until afterwards. The thing there though, is that I am not by myself eating in front of TV. I am enjoying the pleasure of someone elses company. And we often sit up and eat at the table and talk as well.

Anyone got any thoughts on that?

My immediate thoughts are that I'm starting to see it as with any other thing. If you are pedantic about it with no leeway, it's not going to work. I enjoyed my meal, I was aware of what I was eating, and I had no need to go back for more. Works for me!!

Overall, I really enjoyed taking care of myself in this new way.
It is a postive and happy change for me to take on.

Spiritual Practices / More camping photos

2008-10-08T10:44:00.006+10:30

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Thanks to Kelly, I have begun a new spiritual practice today. That of doing just one thing at a time. A practical perspective of being in the moment.

It has been interesting today. Most of the time I tend to be doing more than one thing at a time! Whether it be eating while watching TV / reading / blogging, or the more dangerous practice of using my mobile while driving.

So, I sit here now, in silence, simply blogging. No TV, no food, just writing.

I stop.
I take my eyes of the screen and my mind off what I want to write.
I have a drink.
I feel the sensation of the water running down my throat.
I feel it nourishing me, quenching my thirst.
I put the lid back on the bottle.
I put the bottle down.

Back to blogging.

In a moment, I am going to stop for lunch. How hard it will be to not throw the movie on and start watching it while I eat lunch!!!! I really want to do that. But it is more important to me to do this spiritual practice. And I will do it.

I've also started to read Denise Linn's Soul Coaching. I look forward to sharing it with you.

Now for some more camping stuff!!

This is the only "photographic" shot I took of the land that I really loved. I had just finished taking some shots of an interesting tree that Dave liked, when I walked past this stump and thought "I can see right through it"! And I had to stop and try out some angles.

And here I am under the tarpaulin shelter that Dave rigged up. It was perfect! If you look closely you will see Max is snuggled up next to me. Notice that his dog bed is next to the couch, but he is not on that of course!

The couch is an old one that the guy we bought the van from threw into the deal because he was just going to throw it out. It is perfect for camping! And also perfect for Max to actually be able to come on the couch with us. A rare opportunity!

Camping, The Block and Aussie animals

2008-10-07T09:53:00.012+10:30

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What a wonderfully exhausting weekend we had. I love love love going to the block. Being surrounded by nature, living off a campfire and bottles of water, no electricity, using lamps and torches, digging holes for your toilets, and finally showering naked outside on the final morning in the fresh air with a tiny little drizzle of water from the shower bag! Ah bliss!!

It was exhausting this weekend because we had to establish our campsite, set up the van, get a system of doing things that will be much quicker and easier to implement on our next trip there. There was a lot to do.

It was our second trip to this new block of land that Dave has bought together with a group of other people for the purpose of camping, bikeriding, bushwalking etc. A place to be away from the hustle and bustle. I am blessed to be able to be a part of it. And we are blessed to have met each other and to be able to share this mutual passion.

We work well together Dave and I. We fell into doing the seperate things that we love to do, as well as doing things together, and between us we got everything done.

I loved setting up the van, finding places for everything in the cupboards - the food cupboards, the crockery cupboard, the snack food cupboard, the alcohol cupboard! Finding the best places to put everything.
Dave loved setting up the main campfire with a small seperate one filled with hot coals for cooking with the bbq plates. He loved cooking over it. He loved coming up with great ideas for hanging the lanterns and setting up a shady area with tarpaulin and many other things. A man with smarts!(I chose this photo because I loved the effect of seeing all the campfire smoke. I also have a clear one, but thought this one was much more interesting!)
I loved making the damper! (Look at the picture for the initial distastrous results! The end result wasn't bad though. Mmmm). And I have a whole list of campfire recipes that I look to gradually implement into our camping experiences - as well as GREATLY improving on the damper. LOL
Together we easily brainstormed or seperately came up with ideas for all that we needed. A good team I reckon!

We did some bushwalking around the block - but not all 400 acres of it! And we love that we are gradually getting to know the land and to know where we are within it.

The place is filled with wombats and kangaroos. And Max, Dave's dog, just loved chasing after them. He didn't have any chance of catching them but his cattle dog instincts just loved trying! He really is in his element in the environment of the block.

The kangaroos don't let you get anywhere near close to them. They stare at you intently as you gradually creep closer trying to get photos, but soon bound away. It was much better being on foot though as the sound of the car sees them disappear very quickly.

Before you read about the wombats, here are some pictures of their burrows. They are MASSIVE - as the picture with Dave in it for perspective testifies. A bit further down is a picture of the mean looking one - just to show you what they look like if you don't know! It's not a good photo. He was too far away for my camera. We need Dave's camera with the good zoom to get the good photos of the animals. Next time!

The wombats are usually never far from their burrows. Their burrows are all over the block. It was actually hard to find a campsite that wasn't right next to one. Mostly they run for safety into their burrows when we get close, but there was one we saw close up on our walk that totally stared us down. A scary looking thing it was. It looked mean!

They are solid, heavy, fast and maneuverable - which you wouldn't expect from the shape and size of them. But they are faster than Max! I must admit to being a bit frightened of them.

I have other photos from the trip and will gradually put them up over the next few posts.

A great weekend!

The long weekend

2008-10-03T20:01:00.008+09:30

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I'm off camping this long weekend. I know I will have heaps of posts to catch up on when I return!

I will come back with lots of photos and stories to tell!

I'll leave you with shots of our last trip to the block. Have a great weekend everyone!

First Photo -
Even though this time around we will be taking up the second hand caravan we just bought, this is our tent hooked up to the car that we camped in last time. I love tenting and look forward to doing it again when we camp in different places around the state. This time around, I'm excited about setting up the caravan - just for something different!

Second Photo -
Just a sample of what I will be surrounded by! Yippeeee!

Third Photo -
And this is what I intend doing a LOT of around the campfire! With a book in hand perhaps! Mmmm
(As well as bushwalking and cooking campfire food and photography and quad biking and... )

Kiara in action!

2008-10-01T09:45:00.007+09:30

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Amongst the holiday joy of...

staying in my jamies till mid-morning
going to bed when I feel like it
lesiurely heading down to Curves and going for walks
catching up with friends
cooking without time pressures
and the freedom to choose to do something just because I feel like it

...holidays also mean sitting down at the computer to do the bookwork - both my own and my brothers - blah!

This morning as I tried to work, I had the fun of photographing Kiara interrupting my work as only cats know how to do!

This means...

rubbing up against the computer screen so you can't see what is on there.
walking across the keyboard and hitting keys that do all sorts of the things that you never knew they could do!
sitting on top of all the papers.
And then when you move one paper to the other side of the computer so you can read it, she also moves onto the other side and sits on it again! They just have to sit on the one that you want to look at!
discovering how much FUN it is to play with all the computer chords.
climbing on top of you and insisting on being patted.
settling down to sleep on your lap so you have to sit further away from the desk than is really comfortable.

This morning it went on forever! Just when I thought she had given up and settled down somewhere else, she would get up and it would start all over again.

Here are the photos of her in action!

Rubbing against the screen. Usually right in the middle so you can't see!

Sitting on the papers. She does also go to the extent of laying down on them completely spread out so you can't see a thing!

Stretching across from the desk to begin her climb all over me!

Finally making it across and snuggling in!

Giving up for just a little while before starting the process all over again.

"Mmm, is there anything interesting outside??"

A return home.

2008-09-29T11:51:00.008+09:30

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Dave came back yesterday! And I got official permission to use his first name. So much nicer. It was wonderful to see him again, it was a great day, and I could feel something lift from my shoulders. The feeling of not being on my own and instead having someone to share life with, is a good feeling. It's one of the things of single life that I am SO happy to be leaving behind. It is a blessing and a relief to receive support and I do so enjoy giving it in return.

And I also loved sharing my little world with him, telling him my thoughts and stories of things that happened while he was away. And to hear of his adventures, and see wonderful pictures of Italy was thrilling! I got to live a little bit of another culture for a while. Stories of the lifestyle and the food and the people. Dave was able to see Italy as more than a outsider touring around. He was able to share meals and laughter in some of his colleagues homes and experience the culture in a more intimate fashion. One day I may just get to do the same!

I am thankful for his companionship. And I am also grateful for the time alone that I had. I feel more centered. And I feel a sense of peace at renewing my spiritual life, especially having found a better understanding of spirit that works for me, and finding a daily spiritual routine that is renewing and that I enjoy doing. A returning home for me!

Now with holidays here, I am going to get back into my exercise routine, catch up on some accounting (blah!!), do some more spring cleaning and clutter clearing in a nice leisurely way and have time to eat well and establish a cooking of meals routine again!

Today will be about cleaning the house, doing some spiritual cleansing, going to Curves, going for a walk and then whatever else I feel like doing! Oh yea, and eating well!

And just for a bit of fun...

You are Temperance

Time. Ages. Transformation. Involuntary change

Temperance is another card of aspiration, but also of much change. It often
represents complex situations. Positively, you can harmonize contrary
forces.

Temperance is, on a surface level, about "tempering." The original pouring from cup to cup might have been about cutting wine with water. So this is a card about moderation. There is, however, another angle to the card, that of merging seemingly impossible opposites. Sagittarius, the centaur, merges beast and man into a unique creature. And then there is the bow and arrow, one moving, one stationary, working together to point the way. Temperance may be, at first glance, a warning for you to "temper" your behavior, to cut your wine with water. But it may also be a reminder to that seemingly irreconcilable opposites may not be irreconcilable at all. Belief that fiery red and watery blue cannot be merged may be the only thing standing in the way of blending the two. Change the belief, measure out each with care, and you can create otherworldly violet.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Books to read

2008-09-29T07:55:00.000+09:30

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Books on the American banned list. I plan on reading them!

Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz
Daddy's Roommate by Michael Willhoite
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling
Forever by Judy Blume
Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
Alice (Series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
The Giver by Lois Lowry
It's Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris
Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine
A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
Sex by Madonna
Earth's Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel
The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
Go Ask Alice by Anonymous
Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers
In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard
The Witches by Roald Dahl
The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein
Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry
The Goats by Brock Cole
Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane
Blubber by Judy Blume
Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan
Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam
We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier
Final Exit by Derek Humphry
The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
What's Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Beloved by Toni Morrison
The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
The Pigman by Paul Zindel
Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard
Deenie by Judy Blume
Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden
The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar
Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz
A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice)
Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole
Cujo by Stephen King
James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell
Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
Ordinary People by Judith Guest
American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
What's Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras
Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
Crazy Lady by Jane Conly
Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher
Fade by Robert Cormier
Guess What? by Mem Fox
The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende
The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
Native Son by Richard Wright
Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women's Fantasies by Nancy Friday
Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen
Jack by A.M. Homes
Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya
Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle
Carrie by Stephen King
Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
Arizona Kid by Ron Koertge
Family Secrets by Norma Klein
Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole
The Dead Zone by Stephen King
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
Always Running by Luis Rodriguez
Private Parts by Howard Stern
Where's Waldo? by Martin Hanford
Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene
Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman
Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
Running Loose by Chris Crutcher
Sex Education by Jenny Davis
The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene
Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell
View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts
The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder
The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney
Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier

Holidays have begun

2008-09-27T20:40:00.004+09:30

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Holidays have started! I've already had a trip away and feel refreshed! I have work to do, but without the pressure of getting up early in the morning and having to leave home, it is always so much better.

And D comes home tomorrow morning after three weeks away for work. I have to get up early to pick up from the airport, but that I am looking forward to! What a great start to the holidays!

I took a road trip after work yesterday and visited a couple of friends who live in the country. The friends I stayed with for the night have just gotten two new puppies. They are 3 months old now. Mountain dog / Border collie cross. They are so delightful and peaceful animals. You fall in love at first sight! I look forward to visiting them again.

Encouraging the Light.

2008-09-25T18:11:00.005+09:30

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My education in white, grey and dark entities is still going on. And this post really brings into summary all that has been going on for me this last week.

Yesterday, I picked up a book that I put on hold at the library a couple of weeks ago. It is Allison DuBois's "Don't Kiss Them Goodbye". I've been wanting to read it for a while. I guess the Universe was waiting for this time to bring it along my path.

It was right in the Introduction, the first passages that spoke to me. Allison is talking about how, as a teenager, she began to feel that she always seemed attract people with negative energies.

"I always worry about young people who stand out in crowds because they have an inner light that shines through... Dark entities are naturally attracted
to the light and will try to manipulate it. A dark entity can see a light
entity from a mile away. Unfortunately, it's typically harder for light
entities to spot dark ones, but with experience they can learn to recognize and
avoid them."

This is such a real reflection of myself and of many other people. I learnt at a very young age to be frightened of the Light within me. I was scared to let it shine, I always got hurt. So I hid the light. Eventually the Light faded. I turned grey.

It makes sense to me that, because of this Light, I attracted the darker energies. It corresponds with my experiences. The trick is now for me to return to being strong and bright and to bring back the flicker in my eye!

It also inspires me to do what I can to keep ignited the Light in young people. As a teacher, I have the ability to be able to do that. Limited that it is, as I only see my students once a week for 30 minutes. But at least a little bit, I can do what I can to inspire their Light.

And I also long to be able to impart that to my own future children. To help them grow strong in their Light with the awareness and protective skills to be able to remain so. It further brings out in me the maternal instincts that seem to be growing stronger all the time at the moment. Allison devotes a chapter in her book on how to nurse young psychic children which was fascinating.

In going over my past few entries, I've realised that I haven't put into words the simple yet amazing understanding that I have been given over the last week. It was one sentence in Silvia Browne's book "The Other Side and Back" that said it so succintly.

Dark, white, and grey are just adjectives referring to the amount of God's
Light a spirit has let in.

Reading this one sentence was like a light bulb going off in my head. It all started to make sense. Sylvia went on further in more detail. Dark energies don't let any of the Light in. They have turned completely away from it, are complete manipulators of those with the Light, have no conscious or remorse and only do things for their own selfish needs. Grey energies can't make up their minds - their Light is dulled, they don't want to go towards it but neither is it completely burnt out in them. They are unhappy and fearful and some will do what they can to keep others fearful and unhappy with them.

Since reading this it has been wonderful for me to know that I am a good white soul and to acknowledge the Light that I learnt to hide. I am free of the past. I am ready to shine as I used to. To stop being grey. I am aware of the possiblity of being attacked by others with negative energies, both dark and grey - whether they be living or dead. And that awareness has given me security in the knowledge of who I am and the Light that is there for me to enjoy and share with others.

I'm sure that to some, this will sound totally kooky and out there. But to me, it is so simple in it's logic, it sits right. And if the end result is feeling like myself again, then it is right for me!

Awareness and my Mum

2008-09-23T15:42:00.005+09:30

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This afternoon I was feeling restless. I wasn't sure why.
Every time I looked at my burning white candle though, I felt a stillness. A peace came over me.
And then the restlessness built once more.
And then I realised - awareness. That is it. Just knowing that another energy may be trying to influence my thoughts stills the restlessness.
Conscious awareness. That is a big part of the key to staying clear of negative energies and remaining my own individual self with my own thoughts.

Heres a picture I took the other day of my kitties in identical postures. Gotta love 'em!

D comes home on Sunday. I am glad to be counting the days now rather than the weeks. It has been a long time.
However, I have been glad for the time. It has allowed me to remember my old single life and to see the things I am glad to be leaving behind as well as to remember some good things that I may have left behind in the process of getting caught up in our relationship.
It has also given me time to renew my spiritual journey and to hopefully begin to move beyond the 'stuckness' of the last three months.
It is good timing before he moves in in a few weeks.

There has been a really positive change in my relationship with my Mum as a result of my relationship with D. It has been wonderful to be able to seek her advice on relationships. I have had to push past the stock standard answers that she initially gives. And no doubt I will have to continue to do that! We are very different my Mum and I.
But when I have really explained to her how I am feeling about something or a problem that I am having, she has really given it some thought and delivered some wonderful words of wisdom. I think she has seen that I need different things and respond to things in a different way. I like the shift it has given to our connection.

Thanks Mum!

Renewed!

2008-09-22T19:07:00.003+09:30

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What a difference in me today after doing my spiritual cleansing yesterday. It is quite amazing!

Today is the first day in three months that I have had any sense of peace. And I have felt free to eat healthily. Yea!!!

I still feel as though I need to do some more cleansing. Something is still not quite right. But it might need to wait until the weekend and in the meantime I will savour the results of yesterdays work.

I lit my brand new white candle tonight and chanted the necessary words. It feels wonderful.

It was nice to read my schools newsletter today. It is not often I find inspiration from it (I won't get into that issue though!!!) but today I did and it fits in with my renewed awareness of drawing God's light and love into my spirit. I'll let it speak for itself.

God's love is not limited.
God's love doesn't have to be returned to be kept alive.
God's love is freeing.
God's love is not centered or selfish.
God's heart, his heart of love, is turned towards us, and it will never run out. God wants us to really take hold of His love for us so that we can then share it with others.

Spiritual Cleansing

2008-09-21T11:34:00.008+09:30

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Today I made a really positive and pro-active step towards healing. I did some spiritual cleansing. Yesterday my housemate and I did a couple of hours of housework so the place was fresh and clean. It was a perfect time to begin.

For the last week or two, I have been feeling more and more strongly that there is a negative energy around me influencing my thoughts and behaviours. With the latest discussion from Suzie about 'going grey' and consequently my own research, I became sure of it. Unfortunately this is a recurring theme for me and by the sounds of it, for many others as well. I had thought I had dispelled with this but this time it is a little different to what is has been in the past.

I understand now that spiritual cleansing needs to be a constant pattern in my life. I need to do it regularly. Not just to dispel negative energies, but even more importantly, to fill myself with good, light, white energies. To fill my Soul with what it needs to flourish and to shine. To always be bringing the "Real Me" to the forefront.

This is a really positive thing for me. While I am always spiritually searching, I do tend to be inactive in my day to day spiritual life. I guess I have never really found the right thing for me. Or maybe it just hasn't been the right time. Bringing these rituals into my daily routine feels like the perfect way for me to begin a daily spiritual practice.

I put together all the resources that I have been collecting on cleansing rituals. Some have come from my ayuvedic massage man, others from the internet, some from books I have at home.
Then I chose the ones that felt right for me to today.

I started with sage smudging. I have been doing this for many years and it always works well for me. It fits me best of all. I went through the house in anti clockwise direction and did each room anti clockwise as well. And as I moved through, I focused on clearing and dispelling any negative energies.
There was one spot in the house that I had to stay in for quite some time and give extra smudging too. One spot in my kitchen/lounge area felt heavy and stuck.

After doing the house, I did myself!

Then I lit a candle in the center of my home, which happens to be the kitchen divider in my open plan area of the house. It is the central part of the home where we always walk past to go anywhere. It is also the spot where the heaviest energy was during my saging. As I lit the candle, I chanted words such as "I am a spirit of light, bring the white god light into my home and into myself, dispel any negative energies away from my home. Keep me centred and help me to shine"

Then I filled a small glass bowl with vinegar to draw in any negative energies still left. I left it sitting there for a few hours and then flushed it away with the focus of flushing away negative energies.

The last thing I did today was wonderful. I soaked in an epsom salts bath for 30 minutes!
I started my bath by running downwards along my body chanting words such as "I clear my body of any negative energies and negative thoughts. I dispel any negative desires for unhealthy foods. I dispel any desire for foods not full of light"
The I went upwards along my body to bring in positive and light filled energies using positive and light filled words.

There are a few other rituals that feel right to do as well. I will tell you about them as I begin to do them! One in particular from my ayuvedic masseure that I want to do every morning.

I am looking forward to beginning the new phase in my life!

Library List

2008-09-19T18:16:00.010+09:30

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The last couple of days, I have finally got organised on my book reading. I joined up with the on-line library and put hold requests the lists of books that I want to read. It is SO great to be organised with this. I love reading.

Some of these books have been on my list for so long that I have forgotten why I wanted to read them! Others are brand new to the list. And soon there will be more and as I follow through on my love of reading.

Don't Kiss Them Goodbye - Allison DuBois
New moon - Stephenie Meyer
The third secret : a novel - Steve Berry
The time traveler's wife - Audrey Niffenegger
Twilight - Stephenie Meyer
The other side and back : a psychic's guide to our world and beyond - Sylvia Browne

If anyone has some highly recommended books both novels and non-fiction, let me know!

A White Soul

2008-09-19T18:16:00.008+09:30

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Today has been all about feeling myself as the good, white soul that I am.

I read this in an excerpt from Silvia Brownes book, brought to my attention by Suzies post - which was most timely for the events in my life at the moment!

The book intrigued me.

And as I read, I learnt that "going grey" leaves you in a place of not being able to make a choice. You don't choose to move on with your existence, you just hang around in limbo. And it made so much sense.

The issue of "grey" has been in my life for a long time and I am now in a position of being able to make a choice. This knowledge has given me so much inner conviction.

I find myself feeling the light within me, feeling that I am a good soul.
I find myself opening my Spirit to as much of Gods Light as I can.

And that leads to me wanting to feed that white energy. As I ate today, I saw the goodness in the food and saw it filling me with this white, uplifting energy. And I was satisfied. And when I had ice cream, I couldn't see the good energy at all!

Simply seen, I am coming to life, lifting from the darkness and living life the way I am meant to.

I am lifting from the fog and these new understandings and awareness have helped. Thanks Suzie.

Reminders for today

Take the first step along the journey, not the last, just the first.

Don't bother about the old.

Allow Gods light in and let myself shine.

Blood and blogging!

2008-09-18T19:31:00.008+09:30

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I saw something really interesting at my naturopaths yesterday. I went to see her to get a herbal mix for this bronchitis that I have and she decided to have a look at the pictures of my blood from last week. She said "you were so well last week, lets have a look and see what was happening". And sure enough, there in my blood were a few more extra white blood cells than normal. My body was already starting to produced white blood cells to fight off the bacteria that had obviously already started to work its way through. It's a fascinating thing, the blood.

I loved the comment that Jamie gave me on my previous post about my blood.

I'm imagining all those blood cells huddling up with each other for comfort and
now you're going to let them be free and easy and flowing! What a powerful
image.

Such a great image. And so fitting. Comfort eating - just wanting to curl up into yourself - caused my blood cells to huddle up together. And as I begin to open up and be free again, so will my blood cells be once again free and flowing. Metaphoric but also physically true!

And now I can have the image also of my blood getting in there and fighting for my health. I love the inner connectedness that I feel from these images!

I am so happy to be back blogging and being spiritually inspired by my blogger friends. There have been some people in particular who have really called out to me with their words. People whose own unique journeys have enhanced my own. This what blogging is about. Sharing our journeys and learning from each other. Each one of our unique paths can provide a fresh angle along the same lines or sometimes something totally new right out of the blue that is just what we need to hear. And I hope that, in some small way, I contribute to this stream of consciousness.

My reminders for today:

My dreamboard - peacefulness and energy, being centred.

Taking that first step - not the last step - just the first.

Imagination

2008-09-17T08:11:00.011+09:30

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This morning, after doing my Waking Breath, I lay in bed allowing my sick body to rest before braving the working day again and I began to imagine what I wanted my spiritual focus to be today.

Imagination.

It is a powerful thing.

I have been feeling the fulfillment of my dreamboard in the gentler emotions - peace, stillness etc. But I haven't been feeling the more active emotions of energy and motivation. Now, admittedly I am really sick and it is just enough to get to work at the moment. However, I have found visualizations of these things appearing in my imagination.

The other morning I woke up to an image of me running up and down on the spot - like at Curves. I woke up to that image! I did not consciously activate it, it was just there! And there have been other such moments as well.

And it got me thinking about imagination. In the same stream as our thoughts makes us who we are, it is our imagination that can become our reality. It is our imagination that allows us to form new potentials on how we want to live our days. And if we move away from the negative focus of thinking about our dreams as things we don't have and instead spend our time imagining all the wonderful things we want for ourselves as though they are already here, what joyous times will open up for us.

I know this has been discussed for a long time in regards to our thoughts creating our reality. But for some reason, thinking of it as my imagination is SO much more fun and exciting. It is like a big game to play and get caught up in. An adventure to take in my mind!

Imagination.

So today instead of being sad that I'm haven't been eating well, instead of being miserable that I'm not out there doing what I normally do - bushwalking, Curves, kickboxing - I going to be really excited in my imagination that I AM doing those things, RIGHT NOW!

Its amazing! I can feel that energy building up. I can feel the motivation, the desire, even the adrenalin of working those machines, climbing those hills, kicking out onto the boxing pads. Ah see, thats what I love about life. These are the things that fill me with joy.

And I intend to live it out in my fun-filled imagination until it finally transfers into a reality yet again!

Raphael in the bag! And peace

2008-09-15T18:14:00.009+09:30

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I had to share with you today the cutest photos of my Raphael.

Theses were taken a couple of weeks ago after I got back from a weekend away. I was unpacking my bag and Raph just loved my bag.

Isn't it adorable when they do things like this??

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Today I feel stillness in the moment - for many moments. It's glorious!

The TV is off, the lights are off. All I hear is the sound of the heater fan and the wild wind blowing outside.

It is not quite dark outside yet. The sun has gone passed the horizon and the last of its light is fading away. It is dark inside now and my attention is drawn to the double glass doors showing me the fading sun glow. Nothing else can be seen but shapes. The shape of the chair by the door, the glow of the pilot light and the clock on the microwave.

It is peaceful and serene. It is this moment - here -right now.

Raphael has curled up next to me. And it is peaceful stroking his head and hearing his purr. His half shut eyes show his contentment. He stretches his head closer to my hand, loving the touch just as much as I am.

I am at peace.

Sept 08 Dreamboard

2008-09-13T11:08:00.003+09:30

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This months Dreamboard encouraged by Sacred Suzie!

It started being simply about all the things in the middle. These are the dreams I have for myself this month.

Serenity, Calm, Stillness, Peace
Being Centred
Energy, Motivation, Vitality

And then, I was inspired to cut out portions of mine and D's face - eyes, mouth. My life with him is also in my visions this month. And I seek to be all the above things within our relationship.
Then I looked at a picture I have of a woman in meditation by the ocean with her arms stretched out. And I remember I had one similiar. And it so reflected the peacefulness and vitality that I am seeking. Mine is taken on top of a glorious mountain!

I am on my way to achieving it already. I am feeling so much better today. The voices are quieter and I am feeling calmer.

I saw my naturopath this week. It turns out I was/am completely depleted of energy and tapping directly into my adrenals just to get by. Also my hormones are a little out of whack.

It makes so much sense. I'm lacking energy and that little voice says "eating food is energy, it is just what you need. And you will feel so much better." Well, the theory is sound. Food=energy. Only that voice tells me to eat high energy, sugar laden foods. And that just turns into lethargy!

My naturo showed me a picture of my blood and the cells are all clinging together. They are meant to be free flowing and not hugging each other to death! When they are grouped together, it stops the oxygen from flowing properly through your body, thus, lethargy and tiredness. The grouping is caused when they are not getting the food that they require.

It is amazing how seeing a picture like this, brings a greater reality to what you are doing to yourself. It brings a much greater understanding. And a strong desire to get those blood cells free from each other, so that the oxygen can get through my body again.

I couldn't work out why my eating had gone back to it's old habits. It made no sense. I am happy with the direction my life is taking now. It is reassuring now to know that if my eating should ever take a turn for the worse again, I will know why! And it will be time once again to get that ginseng etc into my body for adrenal support!

While I am missing him, I am grateful for the time I have to myself while D is away. It is the perfect timing for me to fulfill this dreamboard and get myself back on track.
Thanks Suzie for inspiring me to think about it, act on it and bring it closer into my visualisations.

Being in the moment

2008-09-12T17:05:00.003+09:30

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After waking up this morning with my Waking Breath, today has been about finding peace in the moment. And allowing my True Self to be the dominant force in my Spirit. Not always an easy task! Yet, I am grateful to have been mostly successful.

The hardest one was when I finished work.

“Got get outta here, quickly as I can. Gotta get home, NOW, pronto. Come on,
hurry, hurry, hurry. Speed, get home, get home, don’t waste any time.”

It took me some effort to remain in every moment as I packed my bags, walked out of the building, and began the 30 minute drive home.

There are two voices that I have become keenly aware of over the last two days. And are now on their way out!

There is the eating, too tired for exercise voice – a voice that craves escape from the moment.

And there is the insecure, unworthy voice – the one that tells me I’m not good enough to be loved.

Both voices are not part of my True Self. And when I live the moment and breathe, I find a peace and serenity that is such a blessing. I find the ‘me’ that I have come to Love. I find the beauty and simplicity that is every moment in life. I find confidence and contentment, security and trust, reassurance and surrender. I find unconditional Love. I AM ME.

Today has been a good day!

Are you aware of the voices that want to take you away from your Truth? What are they? And what are you doing to find that one True Voice, the true feeling, the true moment in time?

Waking Breath??

2008-09-11T19:34:00.002+09:30

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Upon waking this morning, I forgot all about my Waking Breath! It wasn't until about half an hour later that I remembered and took in a deep breath. And I reminded myself about allowing my True Spirit to guide me through the day. I guess it will take a while to remember this, because I promptly forgot about it for the remainder of the day as well!

Mmm, I think I will need to put a reminder by my bed...

Did anyone else try it? How did you go?

My Waking Breath

2008-09-10T13:35:00.003+09:30

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Yesterday I was reminded of the nourishing act of waking up each morning and being grateful for the day. I was reminded to make conscious those first few minutes of waking. To breath in ones spirit, to be grateful for life. To breath in and welcome your divinity back into your body.

This is especially important for me at the moment because I am struggling right now. I think this will be a good step towards once again accessing my spirituality. To begin my mornings with sacred time and quietly reenter the world will be a positive change for me to initiate. The breath of life. The breath of compassion for myself. The breath of kindness and empathy.

One quote I read was “Breathing invites your spirit back into your body, which allows you to receive love when you most need it”. A beautiful quote.

I breathe in and invite my true spirit to guide the actions of my day.

Helllooooo Blogging World!

2008-09-09T14:23:00.006+09:30

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Hellloooooo blogging world!!!

Time has certainly flown since I was last blogging. So much has happened.

There have been wonderful exciting and happy changes and there have also been a couple of setbacks. But in my usual style, I see the setbacks as chances for growth. However, my other blog will be the place to talk about them if I feel the urge.

The best thing in my life is my relatively new relationship. (this photo is of us dressed up for a 60's night). I have no idea if I talked about this beforehand or not! It’s been a few months now and things are going really well. To the point that D is moving in next month when he get backs from an extended work trip. (and for those who may remember, this D is not the D that caused me SO much grieve over a year and a half ago. I guess I will have to come up with some groovy way of mentioning him like others do such as Olivia’s LoveHubbie!)

As time goes by, I will talk more about all the wonderful things there - the things we have in common, places we go, activities we are getting involved with and expanding upon etc. Oh, and check out my new profile picture. I am learning how to go quad biking on the country property that he and a group of mates recently bought together as a recreational place for camping and bushwalking, photography, riding and many other activities. One of the really exciting projects that is growing!

The best thing I can say now is that I have never experienced a relationship like this before. It is good! I am gradually learning to trust in it, to open up and talk and feel secure that he is not going to go running away just because things get tough.
When my cousin met him recently, she leaned over to me and asked "Is this one a keeper?" And the answer is a big YES! :):)

He is away for three weeks now. And while I was dreading him leaving, I am finding now that it will be a really good time to come back to myself, to land on my feet again, to centre myself and hopefully correct the setbacks that have recently occurred in my life. It will be a good chance for me to remember the good aspects of the single me and to refocus my attention on my spiritual life.

And what better way to do that, than to come back to the wonderfully spiritual world of blogging with all the wonderful bloggers who inspire me so with their wisdom and insights and unique ways of viewing the world!!! Blogging is a daily reminder to delve into my soul, to see whats there, to clear it out, to open it to new meditations and to be reminded about the true and tried simple spiritual truths.

Here's to renewing my Spiritual Journey Through Life!

Being Still

2008-07-05T16:07:00.002+09:30

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I find myself restless this late afternoon and unable to simply relish in the nothingness of the moment.
School holidays have begun. I have worked on the bookwork all day and feel very satisfied with what I have achieved.
I feel content in the joy of no school for the next two weeks and having relieved a large burden of bookwork, with just a couple of more days work to complete it.
And yet, I am restless.

I soon knew that I needed to write.
I had planned on writing in my diary, but for some reason, having blogged for three years now, my diary just doesn't cut it! Even without a large readership and with the inconsistency of my blogging lately, writing here, in this, my very own blog, has so much more meaning.
I am writing TO someone, whether anyone reads it or not!!
I am sharing my thoughts WITH someone, whether anyone comments or not!
My blog is my voice to the world.
It is my voice to the many other woman out there who, in our own unique ways, live very similiar lives.

Today I am here to delve into this restlessness. This inability to simply BE. To not eat, not drink, not read, not watch TV. To just be in my own company and be still.

TO BE STILL.

Somehow just that little bit of writing has given it some clarity. I'm off to take a deep breath, sit on my lounge, close my eyes, and JUST BE.

Will let you know how I go!

Today, the Weekend and a Quote.

2008-06-25T19:21:00.007+09:30

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Wow, what a day today. Today was finally the day of our flute quartet recital. We have been rehearsing for this for a few months now and today was the big day! It went well. And if there are any musos out there reading this, you know that is highly unusual for four classical musicians to walk off the stage happy with a performance. I am sure we will knick pick it to death when we hear the recording. But we were all happy with how we played together - as an ensemble. Yehhh!

This photo is my latest one. D told me it was time to update my Facebook profile picture. With the weight I have lost, the one that was on there did not reflect me anymore. He proceeded to take some photos right there and then! It was fun!

I have been saving my Abraham Hicks emails of late. So many of them have been inspirational to me. So, I thought this would be a good avenue to bring them to my attention even more and to share them with you.

Today's quote is from a few days ago.

You are meant to live an expansive, exhilarating, good-feeling experience. It
was your plan when you made the decision to become focused in your physical body in this time-space reality. You were born knowing that you are a powerful Being; that you are good; that you are the creator of your experience.

I particularly love the first sentence of this. We are meant to live an exhilarating life!! We are meant to be filled with energy and exuberant for life's experiences whatever they may be.

And then the bit about knowing we are powerful Beings. Somehow just reading these sentences fills me with love and happiness.

Life is good.
Blessed be.
xxx

Always remembering. Love and Light.

2008-06-24T20:08:00.005+09:30

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Thought I would share with you this fun photo from bushwalking last weekend!!

I have just done a post on my other blog and thought I would come and have a look at this blog and was so thrilled with my last post.
I just had to add a label to it to remind me to come back and look at again and again!

To remember to be a light in this world is such a wonderful thing for me to remind myself of and to activate in my life.
I have spent SO much of my life hiding my light, dulling it, even extinguishing it. To actually be able to bring it forth, to let it shine, to let me become the true me, is an incredible feeling.

To remember to be love, to show love, to share love, to be unconditional in ones love, is a beautiful heartwarming sensation and one that I never ever ever ever ever ever want to forget.

And this is probably the biggest reason I love blogging. Because I see so many other womans lights - their wisdom, their insights, their experiences, their love, their spirituality their daily lives. It is this that helps me to always see and feel my own Love and Light and to continue to spiritually evolve and grow.

It is the most important thing to me. And I am so glad to have this avenue to share and connect.

Thank you!!

Love and Light

2008-06-19T20:23:00.010+09:30

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My last post was a proven to be a real shift in my being. Thank you Yertle and Suzie. Your responses are really what brought it all into perspective for me.

Being a light.
Bringing light into the world.
It sits so well with me.
It brings into focus so much of my life and my upbringing from my Mum.
It brings into focus all the work I have done over the last couple of years of...

finding the positive in all things,
finding the good in all situations,
of seeing everything as being what we need in life
and most of all as knowing that the one true thing in life is LOVE.

And when I think of these things, I find myself so at peace with all the things in my life.

And then I can feel the Light and the Love within me just fill me and consume me.

This is how we are meant to live. With this peace and light and love.

It comes from inner security.
It comes from inner acceptance.
It comes from independance.
It comes from being okay with being alone, from being One.
It comes from taking responsibility for all our emotions and reactions.
It comes from not sweating the small stuff.
It comes from knowing that we are OK just as we are.
It comes from knowing that are loved just as we are.
It comes from taking each moment as it comes with acceptance, excitement, love, peace.
It comes from loving others just as they are.
It comes from understanding that we are all here on a journey and everyone as every right to be exactly where they are in their own unique journey.
It comes from knowing that sometimes we will connect with someones journey and sometimes we will be at odds with it, and thats all OK.

This feels good.
It feels right.
I am grateful.

Our Blogging Lights

2008-06-17T22:06:00.003+09:30

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Tonight, I have been basking in the glow of reading the blogs of many wonderful blogger women. I've been inspired and sympathetic and encouraged and felt the connection to hearing about your lives, your thoughts, your journeys, your hopes, your dreams, your goals. My goodness. You are all such an inspiration.

So, I have just a quick quote for tonight. Another random, open the book at any spot, quote. A quote to keep my spiritual fire burning and alive and learning and connected.
And as it turns out, this quote is also how I have felt about the blogging world tonight and what we all bring to it.

"Be a Bringer of Light. For your light can do more than illuminate
your own path. Your light can be the light which truly lights the
world"

Meditations from Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch

Letting go.

2008-06-16T20:47:00.005+09:30

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I am finding it very difficult at the moment to keep up with blog reading and commenting. So much is happening at the moment, both personally and work wise. However, it is really important to me that I do this. It is what blogging is all about. The sharing of our thoughts and the mutual commenting on each others blogs. To that end, I have lined up the blogs of all the wonderful people who have commented on both my blogs. I have promised myself that I will catch up on everyone in the next couple of days. I can't wait!!!

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Okay, so to start off this new blog, I have found a quote in a book called "Reminders from the Gods" by Susan Hayward. It's one of those books with lots of quotes that you simply reach out and open to whichever page you are meant to open.

This particular quote was actually bookmarked.

It's a quote that I put into my practice in my life all the time. And when things aren't working in my head, I know it's because I have forgotten about it!

Sometimes, by letting go we allow
some grace to enter by another channel,
which all our mental efforts
have hitherto kept out.

Letting go is such an important thing for me. I have always been good at compromise, but in the past, it has come at my own self-sacrifice. These days, I have started to see the difference between letting go and taking responsibility for my own reactions and knowing when I actually need to speak up.

I must admit, I still lean more to the side of not saying anything and making the adjustments within myself. So it is important that I learn to communicate more and show others how things affect me. It is important that I show others who I am, both in the immediate first emotional reaction as well as how I resolve the conflicts within me.

But in the end, we are all responsible for our own feelings and we need to go with them, learn from them and let them go. Other people are not responsible for our we feel. And often times, our first reaction to things are just knee jerk reactions and not a centered, spiritual, meaningful, growth filled response.

This practice, that life in it's glorious wonder forced upon me, has shown me how strong I am, and how none of my emotions, or the events in my life, will ever kill me or break me. Whether it be being hurt by other peoples actions, being heartbroken from not being loved back, feeling that others aren't there for you or letting myself down in some way. It might really hurt and be really difficult to deal with. But everything that comes into my life, is something I can deal with, learn from and grow from.

I am so grateful to have this inner strength and ability to take care of myself.
I am so grateful to be able to let go and move on.
I am so grateful for the peace and serenity that this brings into my life.

Starting anew

2008-06-12T19:36:00.000+09:30

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As I start this new blog, I find myself wondering what my blogging is all about. The big lapse in my posting lately, rings a bell to me that it is time to look anew at this realm. What do I want to find in THIS blog when I look back at it in a years time?

And I realise that I don't want to find my past struggles that are no longer relevant in my life.
I want to be able to look back at my posts and see things that inspire me and that stay relevant, things that show who I am and what I am passionate about.

So, what are the things that are important to me?

Well, my spirituality is number one.
Being positive. Looking for the joy in life. Evolving. Growing. Understanding the world as a spiritual realm. One of my favourite quotes is that "we are spiritual beings experiencing a human existence."
Photography.
My weight loss journey is covered in my other blog.
My parents are important to me.
Bushwalking. Nature. Silence. Socialising.
Reading.
And now, that someone special in my life.

Ah, now that is bringing a clearer picture of what this blog needs to be.
It's time I went back to photography.
It's time I went back to reading the books that inspire me and quoting the passages that speak to me.
It's time I begin to meditate and find my inner soul once more.
It's time to look beyond my daily life and it's struggles and become absorbed in something that is bigger than me.

The last few months have been a real focus on my physical journey. And while my spiritual and emotional journey have been an important part of that, it hasn't necessarily been an active part. It's almost like my physical self has had to catch up to where I am spiritually!

So, as my life begins anew in SO many ways, so will my blogging and my spiritual journey.

I look forward to beginning to read inspiring words again and sharing my discoveries with you. And getting your feedback and your own experiences through your comments as well as your own blogs.

To start with, it's time to pull out some photos that have been sitting in my computer for some time.

These shots are from one of my favourite places to bushwalk. It is at the back of where I live. Just a 10 minute drive to the Conservation Park.